What's Yours Is Ours

Hello Tea Ladies and Tea Lads! Another long awaited voice note episode has arrived! If you haven't listened to the latest episode, then click here.

This week we asked you, our lovely listeners;

“If a man earns enough to support the whole family and then some, should the wife still contribute to the bills? If not, what should she do with the money?”

And boy oh boy did we get some interesting and thoughtful responses!

Now we have to say, a good majority of the responses said they would invest the wife’s wages in something that would benefit the family. This seemed to be the collective norm and the general way people would go about prioritising extra incoming funds that aren’t essential to the household. So although the man’s money has an immediate and direct benefit for the household, the woman’s money will have a bit of an indirect impact that will be realised in the years to come.

An exciting opinion was to focus on spending the money on private education for the children. So instead of prioritising the long term wealth of the family, it was more on securing a solid childhood and educational prospects for the children. Most of us are familiar with those families who live modestly so they can afford to send their children to the top tier schools in their area. Yes they sacrifice the luxury holidays, the extra shopping money and the some treats – but the schools they attend, even if they don’t pass with flying colours, can have a lifelong impact on their career prospects. Not only are they more likely to be hired for the competitive jobs and they’re often first in line for a promotion because people instinctively trust in their intelligence, but they’ll also be growing up building lifelong friendships with the bakers, politicians and middle/upper class of society. And as unfortunate as it is in this day and age, connections do matter. Not only is this idea about giving the children the best education possible, but these parents will also be actively and consciously forming a specific environment for their kids.

We had another listener who said she would of course offer to contribute to the bills, but if he insisted then she would quite gladly incorporate treating him into her life. Most surprises and gifts come on special occasions, birthdays, anniversaries and Christmas – but what if it was a way of actually showing him your appreciation? For him to be making enough to take care of all your needs plus extra, he’s probably working pretty hard. It’s interesting to hear to some women would gladly then take the reigns on making sure he understands that he’s deeply appreciated for everything he does.

However, we can have a husband and wife who both agree that his pay will cover everything and she will keep the domestic side of everything in top shape. This arrangement would really suit all the house-proud ladies out there who are into interior decorating and just making sure their house is really, truly a home. Imagine how wonderful it would be to some in from work to a home that is so obviously cared for and loved – everything is chosen with care and consideration, you’d be proud to raise your children there.

But these are scenarios that involve families… other couples would really enjoy their lives to the fullest! Over the last year, we’ve definitely learned the practicality of investing and saving up not just 6 months but 1 at least 1 year of living expenses in case of emergencies. And although this super practical and cautious response suits plenty of us, Covid-19 has taught a lot others the value of enjoying life while you and your loved ones have it. We had a listener who said that of course she would invest in the kids and for the family future, but holidays and fun would be an absolute priority. It’s not just about living in fear in case we don’t make it through the next months, but also about realising that there’s a whole planet of experiences out there that we can have if we plan and put the money aside.

There were many more opinions in the episode, so have a listen and let us know what you think! How has the last year affected your couple/household spending habits? What have you started doing now and how are you going to go about it in the future? Definitely let us know if anything in the episode made you rethink something too!


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